Nights follow days and a new day follows every night. Every morning brings new chances, new challenges. It’s all there, in one day. The question is, how much we can see. What we see depends on what we think.
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I was brought up to believe that I am just an ordinary girl. I grew up in an ordinary house, with parents who had ordinary jobs and a brother who was just an ordinary boy. As an ordinary family we had good times, and times when we struggled, but I was a happy kid. I don’t carry any scars from my childhood.
Except, I was brought up to be ordinary.
How’s that a problem, one might wonder.
Well, when I expressed my desire to be an actress, my parents said ‘Don’t be a fool’. When I said I wanted to be a singer, my parents asked ‘And how’re you gonna do that’? Whenever I yearned for something that was my heart’s desire, I was reminded that I was just an ordinary girl.
And what do ordinary girls do? {According to my parents that is}
They finish school, they find a decent job, they get married, they have kids and of course, they know their place.
Well, I guess, although I tried, it turned out that I wasn’t so ordinary, after all.
There are many kinds of abuse, all of them being difficult to deal with. I believe that emotional abuse is by far the worst. It sneaks upon you, it pretends to be love and when we grow up believing that we probably don’t even deserve better… we willingly clip our wings and walk into the darkness of abusive relationships, where nothing is ours, nothing is for us and our only purpose is to be an invisible servant for someone’s many needs.
With my one year old baby in my arms, when I was only 22, I ran away from my first husband. Not because I recognised emotional abuse, not because I realised that I deserved better, but because I was so sad and so broken that I felt that if I stayed another day, I would die.
It will take further 20 years and another failed marriage for me to wake up and start learning my lessons. That is over forty years of emotional abuse, over forty years of feeling wrong, over forty years of feeling guilty, over forty years of feeling not good enough……
But once you can see things clearly, you cannot unsee them. I finally recognised emotional abuse, but I didn’t stop there.
I started investing in myself. I became obsessed with personal development. I certified as a Life Coach and NLP Mater Practitioner and I devoted my life to teaching you to say YES to yourself and NO to everyone who dares telling you that you are just an ordinary person and should stop believing in your dreams.
I wasn't expected to say NO to emotional abuse. That was extra.
I wasn’t expected to take my life into my hands. That was extra.
I wasn’t expected to break free and live my life my way. That was extra.
I wasn't expected to say YES to myself. That was SUPER extra.
And now it's your turn to find your extras and finally realise how extraordinary you are.
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Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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A life-coaching programme ’’Create Feel Good Life’’ written by Silvana Jeffs is very affordable and practical. There are numerous videos and documents in the programme and once I completed it, I felt like it already came to use in my life. The programme is amazing and I would definitely recommend it to everyone I know who cares to became the best version of themselves. I can never thank Silvana enough for sharing her knowledge with me.
